End Money Fights & Relationship Problems With This Simple Trick
Money Fights | Relationship Problems
When Jocelyn and I were dating and later engaged, we began to see clues of the differences we were bringing into this relationship. We had very different tendencies with finances, how we dealt with conflict, stressful situations, etc which turned into some relationship problems. It felt like every time one of these situations came up, the same thing would happen: money fights, relationship problems, etc. Running to our corners for the fight, is what we called it. It’s when we disagreed how to handle something and our different perspectives drove us to the extreme viewpoint of our perspective. Trying to convince the other that they just didn’t understand and were obviously wrong.
Something was wrong and we didn’t know how to fix it. If you’ve ever been (or are currently in) a relationship/engagement/marriage like this I’m sure you can understand. You love and care for each other so much. The truth of it though is there are certain topics that are completely toxic/hopeless because in the end, you fight.
How do you navigate the disagreements that create your relationship problems? You make it the best thing about your relationship.
Relationship Problems
Yes, there are plenty of fights and relationship problems that should be the sign to an end of it all. Like obviously if there is any type of violent (verbal/physical) behavior, get help immediately. Or if your core beliefs don’t match up, move on (if you’re dating. If you’re married — get some counseling. Not because you’re crazy, but counseling is actually incredibly helpful!! We love getting a 3rd party involved on some of these things! There are some fights that right now you see as barriers to the relationship. Some of these can actually be turned into the strongest part of your new identity when you get married.
Money Fights
When Jocelyn and I got married, we chose to work together with our finances. We chose to use our differences with money to make us better. Jocelyn naturally had a hard time creating long term goals because of a fear of them not being a guarantee and not working out. I (Jim) spend a lot of my time dreaming/planning for the future, but my short term game does not come natural. So once we uncovered the why’s behind “Why Jocelyn felt that way. Or why Jim didn’t do ___ very well” the tone of the conversations changed and the money fights became less and less common.
Yes, asking the question is easy, but uncovering and understand the true why can take years. BUT once you both can uncover and buy into it, and turn it into using each other’s strengths together for a common goal you just created the strongest part of your marriage. Remember, HELLO, you’re on the same team!
